The Real Me Is Truth and Love

It may be surprising for some people to watch that mom Jessica Beagley squirt hot sauce into her adopted 7 year old's mouth.  The News as usual, makes sure that they play out the moment to their full advantage making sure we can hear the boy screaming in his cold shower. She did it for the Dr Phil show so she could get on a segment and now she is being punished for going too far.
     I am pretty confused about this whole concept, one the one hand she did the act for the purpose of getting help by going on the show, (she had to show abuse) and I get that there is something twisted about that but what do you do when you've tried everything else and your child is still misbehaving according to conventional rules?  We all do what we feel is necessary for our children so can say if her actions are wrong or right.  It may have been an unconventional way to get the attention and help she needed to deal with this little boy, arguable the show did call for it; she got exactly what she wanted and much more than she needed on her plate. 
    And by the way, hot sauce and a cold shower is not the worst punishment I could have received while growing up.  Belt buckles, switches, broom sticks, frying pans, fist, bites and kicks coming for you.  lol.  She tried the "new gentle way of parenting" and it didn't work out for her so she resorted to the good old hard punishment to cure misbehavior days. The old ways were tougher and I know there is many others out there among us who could say we have been child abused.  By my standards he got off easy, just open up your mouth and let the cold shower sooth it, business as usual, Momma loves me she just crazy, we all know that. At least she didn't continue the cycle of violence by hitting him right?  At least we can all be grateful for that.
  

I am off the pedestal that i placed myself on for I realize the pressure to be perfect is more than I want to handle.  Don't want to be perfect or anything close to it because perfection is not the reason for my existence.  I am better than no one but I have no equal for I was born as an individual and will always strive to be myself.

   The world may seek to define me, you may swear you know me like the back of your hand but you have been misled and misguided on purpose for I refuse to give up the secrets of my soul to those who are not ready to accept me just as I am.  You cannot define me because your dictionary is outdated, your thoughts are like those of humanity in the infant like cave dwelling stages of our evolution.  You act on impulse without restraint or second thought to perceive what lies beneath the surface.

I am off my high horse because it was never real, it is a fantastic illusion created by internal turmoil and external exaggerations.  My horse was nothing more than a cheap plastic toy that melted as it lay too close to the brilliant fires of truth and compassion.  I am off my pedestal because I choose to break the belief that human beings are suppose to be perfect in any way.  I do not have to repeatedly pay for my past mistakes; only those who are unhappy choose to keep misery and hate for company.

Dear Casper,



You haunt my every word, every picture, ever comment I've written to my family, my friends, and my Lover, you even haunt this blog.  Why you chose me I will never really understand for I believe I am the most uninteresting person on earth, boring to the core, a book worm who would prefer to be buried in the library than at the latest hot club.

I don't follow your code, you cannot understand mine, I am out of your league, and you were never in mine.  Please don't mistake my life for yours and do not compare yourself to me, for I am unique, like no other on this earth, I follow my own heart not that of any other.

You and your Ghostly Gang in your Ghastly afterlife sit around making fun of those who are still alive and living their own lives.  You are empty, your lies are easily seen through because your disguise is veil thin.  You are the bride of death because you have chosen to judge others; your purpose is to spread misery because your own non-life is miserable.  You were judged and found inadequate in a system that has mercy for no man or woman alive.  You accepted the judgment that others cast on you and so your wounds festered until they covered your entire body rendering you helpless to show mercy to other human beings.

Often in our lives there are many things that provide negative stimulus to our emotions causing us to feel anger,  Most of us have no protection from emotional damage, we cannot heal from wounds old or new, we relive the same nightmares over and over never quite able to move on with life.  Any type of emotion living in the human heart will affect how that person will react to a given situation.  Sometimes we are justified in the way we feel, by all accounts you are Angry for all the Right reasons, The Truth Is On Your Side And It Is Plain To See.

But we must above all practice the art of Self Control, your own story is the only one you truly author no one else's, no not even your children's.  You cannot change the mind of another simply by your own demands, you can try to stuff the truth down some one's throat all you want but they don't have to swallow.  Right as you are to feel anger, don't let it rule your actions, you cannot see clearly when you are angry.  In any situation it is important that you learn how to reign in your anger so you can function with dignity and graciousness.  Your anger can make a bad situation worse, you push away when you intend to bring the person around to your side,  No one wants to be around an angry, bitter person it is emotionally taxing, your environment feels toxic, the argument becomes stale and numbing, you lose the battle anyway.

Picture yourself as your life's artist and start out on a clean canvass every day or every time you make a mess.  Don't worry about other artists, work on your own picture perfect life.  If what you paint is true then others will see the beauty of your life and they shall be moved to make a change.  When you have control of self you can change any situation from a negative to a positive because you control the way you feel.  Many things good and bad will happen to you in your life, you have no control of the cards you are dealt, we know the dealer often plays favorites and sometimes it feels like you are playing poker blindfolded.  Remain positive, that is your only weapon, shine and make them wonder what you have, smile and forgive the person who is slapping you in the face, your one act of kindness can change your world.  We really should practice to turn the other cheek, for it is an act of love not anger that will save the world.

    Twitter and Facebook thugs beware, the NYPD is training a division just for you, the world is changing and so is the way crime will be policed.   They come after the young men, they want to follow, study and learn all about, you the Latino and Black males, they want to give you a way out and a chance at a new life.
   We are always sewing seeds for the future and so I wonder what future will crime have in a world without privacy.  Even the hardened criminal can fall prey to outing themselves on social media outlets.  So eager are we to share our lives anonymously online that not even our crimes do we keep private.  Now we all have an online mask, the face that we use when we are sitting behind our computer or typing on the cell phone, now the police have new habits to study, new personalities to profile, new help to solve crimes.
   Who they are exactly I cannot fathom, their purpose still very much obscure.  On the surface it would seem as is they are finally paying attention to the problems that plague the poor neighborhoods. I listened to a newscaster speak about the fact that she has lived in Brooklyn all her life; finally she feels a police presense in the right neighborhoods, the tough ones , she meant of course!  Apparently the focus had been on misdemeanor crimes like graffiti and turnstile hopping in the previous years, now crime is dropping while police harassment of our young men are on the rise again. 
   Things are really turning around now oh boy!  With any luck the worst of it will be that we end up like the rest of our colored brothers in America, you know, the ones with exclusive rights to all those Casinos.

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Sometimes its hard to remember what was so appealing about Barack Obama for president when he ran his campaign in 2008.  He flew high on a wave of optimism characterized by his "Yes We Can" slogan, the magic of a country coming together again under a charismatic leader proved to be too intoxicating for voters to resist.  The excitement of the primaries and the fact that Obama prevailed over Hilary Clinton made him look like a dream come true for those looking to bring the United States into the future.  Young, black, intelligent, enthusiastic and inspiring, words I used to describe Mr President, words that still apply to him today, but seem to mean nothing currently.

The illusion of democracy in the United States is evident in the way Congress and the White House relate to each other.  Democracy means rule of the majority but I don't think the Congressman understand that there will need be compromises, that each side of a debate should be respected, that no side will be fully satisfied, that no one point or argument can prevail.  Democracy is not perfect because everyone does not rule, only the majority, the minority must submit to the ruling of the majority or democracy will fail.  A good President has to learn how to navigate the congressional waters and be the compass guiding the ship to the final destination which in this case is legislation.

Or perhaps Voters needs to take charge and send people to Washington who are affiliated with no Party, people who's only loyalty is to kin and country.  It seems more consideration is given to party politics than to the needs of the country so let us take away the power of the Party machine before it destroys the whole nation.  If the President you vote into power is either a Democrat or a Republican it will make no difference, the political quagmire will send him sinking fast on a downward spiral no matter how tough he acts or how lofty his ambitions.  Change American politics by taking away the power of the two party system to that of at least three, give yourselves a fair choice, it is nearly impossible to break a two way tie without a third option.

It must be embarrassing for such a powerful, rich country to have less than perfect credit.  It changes nothing in the short term, except to dampen the egos of the powers that be in charge of the nations financial fiascos.  How does a man like Donald Trump feel I wonder, when he looks at the economic joke that has become America?

When will the rich make the necessary sacrifice?  With your country falling apart economically won't you please lend a hand to help.  Poor people do tax the system, you already pay for all Kiki's babies, too true, but won't you please sacrifice money to correct mistakes made by your own kind?

The Rich and powerful are the ones who brought this nation down on  its knees in 2008, the poor, the ghetto, the lazy, the handicapped, the losers had nothing to do with your Wall Street greed.  You wish to cut government spending, you believe that is all it will take to turn this country around, but you are selfish and greedy, more tax revenue also need to be generated.

Only the wealthy rule because true power lies in money, not in principles.  Let us place the burden of economic recovery firmly on the shoulders to which it belongs.   FOR TOO LONG THE RICH HAVE RULED WITHOUT CONSCIENCE, money is all they care about so that makes every choice OK.   The end result of greed is what happened in 2008, what will happen if the economy continues to fall?  What good will your money be, when there is nothing left to spend it on?

The New York Times has big front page news "City Campaign Seeks To Lift Young Black and Latino Men"  The article tells us that there are over 300,000 Black and Hispanics who are "disproportionally uneducated, incarcerated and unemployed."  The paper took a quote from the Mayor's Thursday speech: "blacks and Latinos are not fully sharing in the promise of the American freedom."

This article for me was an eye opener to the fact that the problems in our communities were and are really being ignored.   You mean to tell me that before the year 2010 no government agency every did research within this demographic to at least attempt what they are trying to do now, which is intervene?  The revolving door of prison for black men has been open for decades, and for decades they built more jails instead of finding real solutions.

When did we learn to ignore the sufferings of others?  Poverty is the greatest cause of suffering, worldwide and it has always run rampant in our communities.  How this country can look to the world's problems without resolving the ones right in its own backyard first, was always a mystery.  Welfare and such programs have always been used to try to patch up our problems but it is never enough.  Throw a couple of dollars at the blacks and Latinos and problem solved right?

Some program details include class room work followed by paid internship and I think great, finally address the needs of our people, which is money.  I am not saying minimum wage is going to solve every one's problem, but for those who are starving it could be a taste of heaven.

Throwing money at the problem will not fully solve it but I see they are planning on hiring "900 paid mentors, many of who used to be troubled themselves" and I say brilliant.  No one better to open your eyes, than the killer beside you, some people can only respect the words of someone who has been where they are now.  You can relate to the person who has walked a similar path.

It could be a great social program for change, there is no doubt about that point.  The concern I have for such lofty ambitions is whether or not they can live up to their original good intentions.  Programs implemented to innocently track and monitor can turn into honing devices used to destroy specific targets.  Will black and Latino males walk into the job centers in their housing projects willingly?  Will companies begin to hire regardless of criminal background?  Will we ever be  able to make the change as a people and find our own version of the American dream?  A journey of a million miles begins with one step forward but who will take it?  We  all live in the same world but can our dreams ever coincide?