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No Word Can Define Youread more
The Thin Line
The duality of nature is found even in our human emotions, we cannot define love without its equal and opposite, which is hate. If you have within you the capacity to love, then hate resides in the dark corners of your heart, even if the fire is almost out, you can always find one glowing ember. The higher you rise in love the greater the fall into hate, that is why the broken hearted have a harder time opening their heart the second or third time around. The heart that had experienced the euphoria of love, that was so light it floated like a cloud in the atmosphere, has now been painfully broken. That first taste of hate can take the heart to dark places from which it is hard to return unscathed.
Most of us both love and hate the person we call our mate. We love being in love and all those happy feelings that come from knowing you are loved but we hate our partners because they can hurt us if they choose to withdraw their love. We hate feeling vulnerable, so we project that hostility towards our partner, like it is their own fault. In other words, we hate the people we love because we have opened our hearts to them and in doing so, we have opened ourselves up to the possibility of pain.
Most of us are cowards, so we choose to love with hate so we can protect our fragile hearts. My daily challenge to myself is to love without fear. If I love without fear, then I keep the hate where it belongs buried deep within my psyche in a place I rarely visit. I Love my Partner more everyday because I don't fear losing him. I don't fear losing him because I no longer fear the end, if necessary my heart will heal and renew over and over again.
The Judge
If you have to tell me how wrong I am, If you have to keep tabs of all my mistakes so that you can throw them in my face later, if you carry all the things I've done wrong to you bottled up inside then how can I believe that there is room in that same heart to love me? There you are with your ever watchful eye, the judge that is in your head is ready to measure and weigh and pounce, based on what you think.
Time spent judging means that you haven't spent that time loving me. We have to learn to focus on what is really important between people, nothing else matters about that person except the love you feel. Instead on naming all the wrong, spend time identifying the right. See the beauty every person has to offer, understand that bad comes with the good and vice verse.
What is your reward when you have passed judgement? If your own self esteem is low then you probably feel temporarily good about your judgment of others; you judge because you have been judged. The reward is fleeting I'm sure, because the best judges are the ones who have already judged themselves. When you judge yourself you always loose, you cannot keep up with your own standards, you fail you in your own head. Judgement is unhealthy wether internal or out.
Whar Are You Looking At?
July 25, 1978 The World's First Test Tube Baby
Nature is the mother of us all, she is neither good or bad. Your inability to have a child is no one's fault, no one person can have it all. Some women are born to be baby factories, others are not, but it all seems to go with the general gist of this life, it is not fair so tough it out. There are a so many children in this world waiting for parents to love them. Some people can be parents without the need for pregnancy, it's called adoption. You can be a Mom or Dad without ever giving birth, so I don't buy that as an excuse for spending tens of thousands to manufacture you own DNA.
All too often money leads humanity instead of morality; poor people cannot afford IVF, so if we are infertile all we have to look forward to is no choice but barren. Now the wealthy people have the privilege of manufacturing their own DNA but I wonder if they stop to think about the effect these babies will have on human existence in the future. JUST BECAUSE YOUR MONEY CAN DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD. How human are you when Doctors, not Nature decided your existence?
The Weight Of Responsibility
On the other side of all the heavy weight of responsibility is the complete lightness of love. I work hard all week and I spend long hours away from them, missing them dearly. I accept this as our way of life at the moment because nothing stays the same, life goes on and on but not in the exact way as it did before. I understand that the time spent with them on the weekends would not mean so much to me, if they were in my face all week, absence does make the heart grow fonder :)
Somehow I feel that when I can find the right balance between the heaviness of responsibility and the lightness of love, life will be more balanced and blissful. One day I will learn to let the love I have for my family spill over into my love for life in general. Every time I think of Jo, I think of his happy smiling face and I wonder what joys he has discovered in this world already; the joys that either I have forgotten or I never found myself.
My Ghetto Choices
There is beauty in living anywhere, I see that even in the most crime ridden and unfortunate of communities. Poverty and violence cannot rid these places of sunshine and love, I see it in the faces of other moms, dads, grandparents, aunts and uncles when they look at a small child walking by. Where otherwise adults would be unfriendly, if not rude, or even warlike in their behavior, when my son says "hello," I've found few who have had the heart to ignore him.
Like everything else in the world, our communities are a product of our mutual agreement to make it so. If we did not agree to the violence in our communities, then much of it would not exist. If we all agreed to permit no sin, whether great or small, then by our own agreement we would rid the "ghetto" of its current bad name. Everyone has to survive, that is very true, but do we have to kill in order to survive? How could we buy into the whole kill or be killed slogan? Where have we hidden our humanity? You know the one that makes us pause before destroying another human life. Is your life really greater than anyone else's?
OUR CHILDREN DESERVE SAFETY, THEY DESERVE A PEACEFUL, CALM, NOURISHING ENVIRONMENT IN WHICH THEY CAN THRIVE JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. BEING POOR AND LIVING IN THE WRONG NEIGHBORHOOD SHOULD NOT DENY THEM THESE RIGHTS.
Our thoughts are powerful, our world exist in this way because we dreamed it up one night while sleeping. From dreams we turn imaginary objects, mere thoughts, into reality. All you have to do is think it, then will it into existence. FYI, I'm not talking about magic, I'm babbling on and on about the value of hard work and determination, I'M TALKING ABOUT THE COURAGE TO WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND DO WHAT IS RIGHT!
What I Learned From Anger Management
In a way I think it is easier to be angry than calm, peaceful and loving. It is easier to be angry because it takes away the feeling of being afraid and places it on the back burner. Everything , everyone, every situation has the potential to make you angry, when you are looking at the world through angry eyes. The source of anger is internal, your anger lies deep inside you like a dormant volcano ready to erupt under the proper circumstances or it bubbles just below the surface and pops out at the most inappropriate of times.
It is a true test of your will to remain calm in volatile situations, where you are being targeted, seemingly prosecuted, judged or arguing. If someone walks into a room and angrily yells at you, understand you have a choice, you can get angry yourself or remain calm and peaceful. If you choose an angry response then you have let the other person infect you, you have given up control of your own self, you have allowed the other person to lead you on a string like a puppet.
But how can I let this situation, this person, this thing go without feeling the anger? I find that understanding for your fellow human being and living in the moment works best. Understand that the person yelling at you is really yelling at themselves, they are projecting their own insecurities on you, they have no right to judge because none of us are perfect. If you keep finding yourself in the same situations, then it is very simply, choose to do things another way, even a move as simple as walking away instead of sticking around to listen to an angry person yell, might mean this time you won't come to blows out of anger.
If you are angry, then you are not in control of yourself. Your self is just about the only thing you have control of in this world so don't give that power to anyone else.
Homosexuality... What To Do With This One?
I am very confused, people are not always right, as humans we fail to see the cruelty when it is happening to someone else. At one point in not so long ago American history Blacks were thought to be 3/4 of a person for voting purposes only, otherwise just mere property to be sold like an ox or a donkey. When they gained freedom they had to then fight for equal civil rights. Is the Gay rights struggle any different from the race struggle? Is it any different from the women suffrage and equality struggles?
What makes a Gay person any different from a straight one according to the rules of society we are currently agreeing to? Especially here in America the land founded on the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of your own personal happiness. Everyone has the right to their individuality right?
I'm concerned for my own child, he's growing up in this new world and I wonder how he will interpret it. How will he choose to live as a man in a world were anyone can marry whoever the choose, really? I remember reading about a time when interracial couple couldn't marry but I don't really know that world. Jo will only read about a time when same sex couples couldn't marry but he won't live in that world the way I did.
How will the choices we make as a society affect our families and children in the generations to come? The breaking down of the traditional family structure has happened in so many different ways already. Marriage failures, and complete parental irresponsibility has already placed our families in huge peril, it is a precarious situation at best. Now we will have to live in this new world where we explain that you can have two fathers or two mothers or a mommy and daddy, or just a mommy, or just a daddy, or none of the above. Do you see what I mean? Perhaps we have to change all the old rules and come up with a new one for tomorrow.
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