The Real Me Is Truth and Love

Nanny work makes you privileged to the inner workings of the health care systems for the rich.  This is how it works:  Mommy calls her doctor; she thinks her baby's sniffles might possibly be pneumonia. The doc for his part, humors Mom, takes her concerns seriously no matter how off her rocks Mom might seem.  In other words he does the job that he is being paid to do.

Meanwhile, I have been trying to reach my son's doc for 3 days now on the advice of a letter received.  I have a true health concern here, (traces of lead found in his blood) and I just want to be reassured about the situation and advised about how best to proceed.  Who better to give you health care advice than your primary care physician right?

Spoke to a pediatric nurse who rudely told me to try another extension, tried it anyway, and no one answered.  One person advice me to ask the nurse to page the doctor because he is not due in clinic today.

Today I called, nurse asked me if I understood that this was not a private office.  I don't get it, only patients with private doctors can speak to them?  I should not expect to speak to my Primary Care Provider if the office he is practicing in is not private?

Maybe its the free poor people insurance, yeah lets blame that.  If I want better healthcare then I better pay for it.  If patient treatment is based on wealth (who else can pay their own doctor's fee in this country) then I better get this mantra stuck in my thick skull: GET RICH OR YOUR SON WILL SUFFER.

LOVE THIS WORLD... WE'VE MADE SUCH A BEAUTIFUL PLACE FOR THE CHILDREN OF THE POOR.

We all have to mind our own business. its just the way the world works.  Each of us have family, careers and all our own personal drama to deal with.  Some of have to worry about where our next meal will come from, and how we can feed our children.  Some, worry about rent and paying the bills that we need to pay in order to survive.  For those of of who are not in the elite 1%, life had limited choices.

I observed a mom outside of a Manhattan apartment building, picking through the recycling garbage for plastic bottles.  By her side, were two children somewhere between the ages of 5 and 9, they were helping mommy.
As a mom I struggle to provide for my own child, I complain about not having enough, I wish I could give him more.  I wonder how that Mom feels knowing that her children are helping her look through garbage as a way of survival.  I wonder if I could live that way, and it made me want to stop complaining and be content.

My heart goes out to the people even less fortunate than I.  In this world sometimes we can't help people, even if we want to, because it would be at your own expense.  We live in a world where monetary riches are all that count, some of us who want to help can't because were are too poor ourselves.  Give milk to another baby and watch yours starve, kill or be killed, learn to ignore the sufferings of others or perish.  This is the way of the word as its been presented to me. 

Is there another way?  Is there humanity left among us?  Have we destroyed the human chain of love that bonded us together as family?  There is something wrong with this world...When are we going to fix it?

I published a post on this blog from the boston.com entitled  "THE BAD MOTHER COMPLEX" by author Francie Latour.  The article is describing some research work done on working moms and the guilt they feel when work life and home life becomes blurred visa vis smartphones and computers remote access to the office.  There is apparently a whole demographic of working mom's who feel guilty and about  not only the amount of time they spend at work but the amount of time spent doing homework.

Money is essential to survival in our society now because its the way human beings have made it.  We don't actually need the object itself , we can neither eat nor drink it money.  Yet we need money to buy food and drink.  The need to grow your own food has been replace with the need to work to buy that food.  If you don't have an income, you don't eat unless charity helps. 

Modern moms either work because they have to, or work because they want to "make better lives".  For the moms who are working hard on their careers to maintain their sweat lifestyles, I guess you know why you feel stressed, placing work above home is almost like putting yours need before your families.  If your working hard for your next vacation, house, car, jewelry  then it makes the time spent away from them less meaningful.  Someone else is raising your children while you work hard for your next big check.  How are you raising your children when you are not there?  Room for guilt and stress yet Mommy?

 For the moms who have to work you have no choice if you don't work, your children wont eat.  No need to feel upset, it is out of your control.  You are only a part of a systems that makes it impossible for you to survive without money.  The love, hugs and kisses that you can offer to your child, you cannot offer it to the cashier at the supermarket.  Some people would say that if you don't have the money why have the kids. The world has never work that way, nature assigns motherhood to us all (biologically) and the selection process is not based on money. 

I

The bad mother complex - The Boston Globe

According to genetic scientist and their research, human beings around the world, every one of us today, all share one common ancestor originating from Africa.  If we all share a common ancestor then it stands to reason that in the most minuscule of ways, we are all related.  Racially differences really are superficial, a simply accident of birth.  Whatever your skin color happens to be, makes you no more or less superior/inferior.  Your skin color pays homage to your ancestors and how much sun their skin needed to absorb to survive.  Observe that  even those of us with lighter skin who work in the sun all day gets tanned.  When the sun moves away from the earth in the winter your complexion "lightens", in the summer it "darkens" when the sun moves closer.  Considering how many thousands of years of human migration, not to mention geological conditions and subsequent  evolution  our ancestors had to survive once leaving Africa, its no wonder "the races" all look so different.

I know that those who colonised, slaughtered, plundered and enslaved Africa, did not know what they were doing was the equivalent of a baby rewarding his nursing mom by biting her on the breast.  Considering how the world is working today even with all this new knowledge I don't think it would make much of a difference.  I don't think we ever needed science to tell us that human being are all the same. You don't need a scientist to identify different types dogs as such, and they come in a wide variety.

One day the races will completely mix out again , or human beings take another fork down the evolutionary road.  Maybe we can't blame ourselves for the way we have treated and are treating each other, maybe our brains are not capable of processing such a Utopia.  It is my hope that the beings who walk  the earth after us learn what it is truly like to be a part of the human family.

What is it with men and competiton I wonder? As I study my two year old toddler son I notice no competion on his cute little baby face when he kicks his soccer ball around with daddy.  Yet as I sit here typing his 20 something year older than him father, is sitting here engaged in a feirce battle with his male cousin.  They are having a competition over who can squease a wooden aperatus with a certain three coiled metal, encircled by another peice of metal shaped in the figure eight, attached to two hard wooden barells,( "a clutch") the most amount of times,  The last count was somewhere upwards in the nineties.  I don't get the glee, but they have these huge grins on their faces, and they are heatedly arguing about who is, "doing the excercise the right way."  Now there "strong hand is tired" from previous effort.  I am shaking my head while I'm typing this. 

How life can really can come full circle, you see I spent the first 25 years of my life practically surrounded by females so all this testosterone can be a bit intense.  I mean with all the muscle and senew not to mention the strategizing that goes into the competion you'd think they were gladiators fighting for the right to their next breath   S[eaking of gladiatiors now they are engaging in a fist fight competion  OMG competion is getting fierce! One Titian just flew across the room, now I'm shaking my head and laughing because cousin got punc!ed in the eye!  Aahhh,  a reprieve much deserved from all the madness to which I've been subjected lol.

Mommy now understands why children, especially little boys, need their father around.  I mean I don't know who would teach my son how to engage in such reckless male activity. I mean its pretty constructive in that end of the world type of way thats always looming over our heads.  Who knows? Maybe doomsday looms ahead and only the strong will survive?  I don't know but I think boys need to learn this code in order to succeed.  For men POWER is everything, and they gain power by besting each other in competition on almost every level. Even when at play men can't help but to jocky for position.  Its may be crazy to Mommy, but I guess for them its just leting off some steam.

Family seems to either work for you or against you or neither, or both... its confusing. 
Our relationships with our parents are inherently flawed because they are not the perfect human beings that we wrongly expect them to be.  When we are young children we think that adults must have it right all the time.  As children we can't see beyond our own limited eyes, but neither can our parents. 

Its not your mom or dad's fault they inherited the sum total of their parents existence and unless you stop and think about why you even do the things you do, there is no room for questioning.  I question why family can be so flawed;  how sisters could grow up jealous and envious of each other instead of loving, kind and helpful;  how brothers turn their back on each other over money, power and women instead of supporting and building each other up.

If a baby can sense your anxiety, then what makes you think they can't sense your animosity?  If they know you love them by your actions, what makes you think they don't know who you hate by your actions.  Just the way children learn to eat, walk and talk, they also learn how to treat people.  If you treat the people who you should be loving the most like garbage on daily basis then that is the way you are teaching your child to act!  They won't know any better because they have had no better example.

As parents we should look at the way we treat our family members.  If I want my child to get along with his family, then maybe I should learn to get along with the family first and lead by example?

As moms we find ours days can be filled not only with the task of managing our own lives but the live of out families.  Many of us work outside the home, and truthfully even those of us who don't, still can't find the time to comparison shop.  Sometimes we don't even have the time to hunt for the deal and the bargain hunting is definately a part of the thrill of shopping.

I find that the http://www.become.com/ can definately solve some of your shopping dilemas.  Its a one stop shop for moms looking for useful baby items like cosco car seats http://www.become.com/cosco-car-seat-base.  If your in the market for something more frivolous, find the cuttest toddler rain boots at  www.become.com/toddler-rain-boots.

Moms don't forget to check out some items for yourself like maybe the Home and Garden or Jewelry section? :)
Any website that makes life easier is definately worth looking at http://www.become.com/ gets that concept.