The Real Me Is Truth and Love

I can't possibly remember much of my early years in life, but one thing I do know is that for the first 3 years I was an only child.  Only child, how wonderful do those two words sound when you put them together.  For most of my teenage years it was my most ferverent wish to be an only child.  All the nagging, fighting, homework help, cooking, babysitting and cleaning that came with my sisters did nothing to make my high school years run smoothly.   Looking back now I realised I didn't do a good job of raising them.

I don't blame myself for my bad parenting, I was a kid myself and had no business raising other children.  Many parents, it seems fix their childcare problems by putting the eldest girl child in charge-leave her to run the household, cook, clean, and babysit.  

Here is another fun fact of parenting to think about-:  Is is really right for your oldest child to raise the younger ones?  Thinking back on my own situation I would have to say the answer is definately no.

One problem with using a child to raise a child is that their is no adult comprehension among children.  Children can't see the world through your parenting eyes, your oldest child, is just older but she is a child non the less.  Do not make her into the woman/parent you need her to be for your own selfish reasons-you risk destroying one child to raise the others; you risk forever upsetting her personal bond with her siblings.

Among siblings there is much rivalry, no matter who actually came out first, we all want to be first.
Every sibling wants to be big boss in charge.  Parent, the moment you walk out that door, trust me all hell...lol. No matter how much you yell and scream, listen to your sister I left her in charge-when you  walk out that door your authority becomes invalid.

They always wanted me to break all Mommy's rules and they needed my silence to get away with it.  So on the one hand big Sis has mom's rules, on the other, she wants her siblings to be happy and have fun( she wants their approval)  Do you risk sibling rath or parental punishment?  Parents don't let your eldest, have to choose between being a child and being your right hand.  Sibling bonding is crucial and your eldest can't bond naturally with the younger when you split them apart with your rules and expectations.  My siblings hated me and for years all I got for my parenting struggles with them was "oh she thinks she's better."  They hated me the way they hated a Mother and they could never see someone put in charge of them as anyone but the enemy.

Sometimes I resorted to letting them do whatever they wanted to do as long as I wasn't in trouble but that didn't always work, lol.  When mom came home I was held accountable for every mistake the younger ones made.  If they went outside, I got in trouble, didn't eat I got in trouble, made a mess, yup me again big trouble lol.  I laugh now but it was really difficult to deal with back then.  It was one of the more painful stages in life.

Here I was in charge of three children, and the household daily after school.  Going to school all day then coming home to my sisters, helping them, cooking this, and cleaning that, homework checked and corrected and ready for Moms signature.  (and it had better be correct, lol)  Have I mentioned my own homework yet?  When did I have my time to grow and learn and have fun?  Is it really  any wonder why I never smiled?